Alice and The Dragon Boost a Facebook Post

“… our monthly gin bill needs paying next week”

The Dragon finally found Alice, sitting at her desk. He poked his big furry head through office window and asked her to come outside and play.

“I can’t, Dragon I need to work out how to sell some more of our ‘Day in the life of a Dragon’ packages.”

“But it’s so lovely and warm in the sunshine, can’t you do that later?” whined The Dragon

“I can’t, I’ve got to work out how to sell more stuff. What I’ve been doing isn’t working, and our monthly gin bill needs paying next week”

“Nightmare!”, said The Dragon, in a slightly panicked voice, “What you going to do about it?!”

“I’ve honestly got no idea,” sighed Alice “I quite like the idea of Facebook advertising, but I’ve got no idea where to start”

“Why don’t you just boost a post? Isn’t that what everybody else does?”

“Well I could, but whenever I’ve done it in the past, it’s given me precisely diddly squat results, so I’m not sure that there’s any point.”

“Why don’t you just ask The Woodcutter about it?” asked The Dragon, “Isn’t he supposed to know how to do stuff like this?”

Alice considered this for a moment, then put down her pen, pushed back her chair from her desk and said “Well, let’s go and find him and ask”.

As the two of them walked through the woods, towards The Woodcutter’s cottage, Alice was chatting away about her plans to sell as many ‘Day in the life of a Dragon’ packages as possible before the end of the week. Not only did she have to pay the gin bill, but she really fancied some new tassled cushions for the guests rooms.

The Dragon was only really half listening, as he crashed through the undergrowth either side of the narrow path. Instead, his mind was on which cocktails he was going to make in the castle bar that evening, and whether his pale blue velvet smoking jacket was clean or not. He had a sneaking suspicion that it had cigar burns in the lapel, and creme de menthe down the back of it. He sniggered to himself quietly at the memory – that had been a fabulous party!

As he tuned back into the conversation, he heard Alice say “so anyway, I signed you up for singing lessons. I suppose if I can’t stop you singing, I might as well do what I can to reduce the number of glass panes we’re having to replace every week.”

The Dragon was about to protest that his singing was sublime, but they were at the door of the little wooden shed that The Woodcutter lived in, as far away from civilisation as possible. Given that he was so antisocial, The Dragon was always surprised at how active The Woodcutter was on social media. But he supposed that was fairly standard for entrepreneurial introverts.

The door creaked slowly open as a grizzled face appeared from behind it, asking warily “What do you want, Princess?” And then when he saw The Dragon, “Oh. You here too?” 

“I’m really sorry to disturb you,” said Alice, politely “but we’ve got a bit an emergency situation, and I didn’t know who else to turn to. The gin bill is due next week, and I haven’t anything in the coffers, and” she lowered her voice, ”you know how he gets when we’re low on gin”. She nodded towards the twelve-foot tall Dragon, who just raised his eyebrows haughtily in return.

The Woodcutter did, indeed, understand what The Dragon was like when he didn’t have his traditional lunchtime G&T. He sighed heavily, and then slowly, came out of the shed. 

He carefully closed the door behind him. Shuffling over to his favourite log, he sat down and took out a small knife. Picking up a short stick from behind the log, he began to whittle it, as he asked:

“So what do you need to know?”

“So what do you need to know?”

“Basically,” said Alice, “I need to know how to boost post on Facebook, so it’s actually going to get some results.”

The Woodcutter put down his stick, sucked on his teeth, and then tutted a few times. He gazed over their shoulders, as if lost in thought for a moment, and then he started to talk…

The Reluctant Marketer’s Mastermind

The Reluctant Marketer Mastermind
“Bonbons and Crap TV”

Alice was sitting having breakfast (Coco Pops with vintage champagne, seeing as you asked), mulling over the Castle Accounts. They were still bothering her. Too much going out. Too little coming in. She’d tried to cut back, but one has to LIVE, and besides, she had a Castle-full of employees and one extremely thirsty Dragon to keep in gin and cake.

She’d wracked her brains about what she could sell to make enough money to keep the place afloat. And she’d come up with a rather spiffing concept – ‘A day in the life of’, where guests could come and stay in the Castle and live the life of a Princess/Prince/whatever they wanted really. Or at least, the stereotypical ‘day in the life of’, as Alice was pretty sure that having to do what she had to do every day wasn’t going to sell.

But she wanted more. She wanted to be able to make enough money to do all the repairs the Castle needed, then decorate it, and then either put in a management company to run the place, while she ate bonbons and watched crap TV. Or alternatively, to sell it at a premium and bugger off somewhere warm.

So she needed a plan. She needed to automate and scale this puppy. But first of all, she needed some clients. Clients who would not only pay to play, but pay happily and then tell all their friends to come and do the same. She felt a plan coming on…

Alice and The Dragon and The Quest for Clients

Alice looked out of the library window. It was raining. Again. The dark clouds rolled across the sky and thunder rumbled in the distance. She couldn’t blame the weather… Alice felt exactly the same way. She looked at the business book she was holding in her lap, sighed and then started to read again.

“Once upon a time, it was easy to find clients and customers. But then, a curse fell across the land, and a great sickness named ‘Cynicism’ overtook the population. From then on, instead of living in ease and flow, businesses found the online world an increasingly dark place to visit.

Eventually, it seemed as if none of the tools they had were working any longer. However much marketing, advertising, and networking they did, it was as if a famine of finance had arrived.

As low as their prices were, their customers wanted to pay less.

As hard as they worked, their clients wanted more.

As beautiful as their work was, their customers were no longer satisfied.”

Alice knew the feeling. She was fed up of trying to make her customers happy. The ones she had either moaned and paid late, or just moaned. She needed some new customers, and she needed them fast. And more importantly, she needed some GREAT new customers. Ones that ‘Got’ what she was doing, loved it and who were actually willing to pay for it.

But where could she find people like that? And more importantly, how could she bypass this plague of Cynicism? She was tired of trying, and given what she’d tried so far, she imagined that it was going to take some kind of miracle.

She looked back at the book and wondered if it was worth talking to The Inventor. She’d found his book lying open on one of the large wooden tables when she’d come to the library looking for answers. Perhaps he’d already worked out how to solve the problem she was facing.

Alice decided that she’d return it to him anyway. It smelled as if he was having a cookie-baking day, and if nothing else, one of The Inventor’s cookies would always cheer her up.

Alice and the Dragon, Planning Part Two – the Map

When the Dragon finally found Alice, she was lying under her favourite damson tree, dangling her left foot in the cool stream that was lazily trickling past.

‘Wassup?’ he asked, blocking out the sun.

‘Meh’, said Alice, squinting at him.

‘Meh?’ said the Dragon.

‘Most definitely, meh’ confirmed Alice, with a definitive shake of her brown curls.

‘What’s going on?’ he asked. ‘Yesterday you were like a squirrel who’d been swimming in caffeine. Have you finally come down from your espresso high?’

Alice sat up slightly and shrugged lethargically. She sighed. ‘It’s just… it’s just that, well, I’m trying to get all organised…’.

The Dragon raised his luminous green eyebrows at her and said dryly, ‘Is that what we’re calling it? Organised? Not hyper? Not manic? Not batshit-crazy?’

Alice groaned. ‘And I started the year off so well, it was all going swimmingly, but… I just can’t keep it up, and now I feel like I’ve failed and… Meh’. She slumped back to the ground and sighed heavily.

‘I’m not one to say ‘I told you so’, but…’

‘Oh, piss off Dragon. Like you’ve done anything useful lately.’

The Dragon harrumphed and sat down heavily with his back to her, making the ground shake slightly.

The two sat in disgruntled silence together as the stream cheerfully continued to trickle on, not giving a damn what they thought about it.

The Dragon did feel bad for Alice. She’d done loads of work to get ready for her new year. And while Dragon considered work to be a four-letter word, and something to be avoided at all costs, he understood the concept of it and could see how much being successful meant to Alice. Who was his best friend after all. Even if just watching her did make him feel bad about how little effort he put into his life.

He sighed and used one long claw to carve a rather good self-portrait into the mud that banked the sloping sides of the stream.

‘Well, at least I know something you don’t’

Alice looked sharply sideways at him. ‘Go on,’ she said ‘I can’t wait to hear this’.

The Dragon looked as snooty as he could and said ‘I know how to stop you feeling so bad about not knowing what to do first.’

‘Drag… for once, gin is not the answer to this dilemma’.

The Dragon looked as if his world had been shaken, but gathered himself quickly and said ‘No. ACTUALLY, what I mean is that I know how you can work out what to do first and how you can do it really quickly, so you can get back to the important things in life. Like me.’

Alice sat bolt upright. She didn’t like to admit that she needed help, but she really did this time.

‘HOW?!’ she asked.

‘You need to come with me and meet someone’

‘WHO?!’ shouted Alice.

‘The witch’, said Dragon, definitively.

Alice and the Dragon – a torrid tale of 90 day planning

DISCLAIMER: The Audio of this actually contains the full-fat sweary bits, so if you have sensitive ears, probably best that you just read it…

‘**** me’, said the Dragon, ‘are you completely insane?’

Alice and the Dragon were having a picnic afternoon tea – the kind of afternoon tea that typically involves at least three large gin and tonics and very little actual food. Which might have contributed, slightly, to the dragon’s bluntness.

‘There’s no way you’re going to fit all of that into three months, you must be off your blimmin’ rocker.’

Alice just sighed, and then squinted as she tried, heroically, to roll one of her eyes. She was half lying upon a pile of rather lovely velvet cushions in a sun-speckled glade, surrounded by trees. The trees were laden with pretty pink blossom and it wafted down to earth, like confetti, from time to time. This, combined with her afternoon tea, was making it really rather hard to concentrate.

‘There’s no need for that kind of language, Drag, I’ve got a plan, see?’

The Dragon made a noise that sounded halfway between a snort and a delicate belch. ’You’re a maniac, you’ve always been a maniac, and I’m not sure you’ll ever not be a maniac. Convince me otherwise.’

Alice opened the eye she’d been holding in reserve and stared icily at the twelve-foot tall blue-crested dragon lolling on the ground in front of her.

‘I might… might have been a teensy bit over-enthusiastic about what I could achieve in a specific amount of time, in the past.’ She said, ‘It might even have been said I was a little disorganised. But I’m over it. So… Not this year. This is my year of JFDIWE’.

The Dragon looked confused.

‘Just ****ing do it, with ease’. She said. ‘Catchy, isn’t it?’.

Please note: This course can be purchased individually, by clicking on the button below, or as part of the SRO Academy Membership

How To Get Online And Make Some Money NOW!

 

Before you can start selling stuff online, you’ll need to have a place online from which to do it.

Everyone is at a different stage to start off with, and some people have more cash than others to begin with. So in this course, we’re going to show you how to do it with no money, some money, or loads of money. Hopefully with that, we’ll have covered as many bases as possible.

As a note for this course, many of the links that we provide for resources will be affiliated – which means that if you sign up using those links, SheRules.Online will get a small commission. You don’t have to pay any more for what you’re buying, and in some cases you’ll actually get a better deal going through us, because we send so much business their way.

We do this because we want to keep this course free, so it can help as many people as possible.

The affiliate commission we get from the course covers the costs of keeping it free and available, without reducing our profits – meaning that then we can donate as much as possible to our charity partners.

The Ultimate Guide to Customer Retention

We all know that Customer Retention is an Important Thing, but sometimes it gets lost in the Gold Rush of acquiring more and NEW customers. Because new is always better, right!?

Not right. Oh, so not right.

Did you know that it’s been proven that acquiring a new customer costs between four and SEVEN times as much as retaining an existing one. So keeping the ones you already have, happier, is a really fast way to reduce the customer acquisition element of your cost of sales by over 75%. Just imagine the effect that would have on your profitability (and your time management).

Combine that with this rather stunning statistic – that increasing customer retention by just 5% can grow your profits by between 25% and 95% – and all of a sudden there’s a seriously solid case for paying an awful lot of attention to the customers you’ve already got. Finally, it’s also true that nearly two thirds of an average company’s sales come from their existing customers.

Customer attrition is often referred to as ‘Churn-Rate’. And a fundamentally important part of maximising your profits is to reduce that churn rate to a minimum. Typically businesses will have an approximately 20% churn rate per year, caused almost entirely by the fact that they didn’t pay enough attention to their existing customers.

But… so many times a company will offer lovely, glittery, sparkly and wonderful gifts to entice new customers while deliberately ignoring their existing ones.

It just doesn’t make sense, on any level. Now… there’s nothing wrong with ambition, or with scaling a business and there’s certainly nothing wrong with finding new customers. And if you start the relationship with them properly, then they should migrate easily and naturally to becoming loyal customers – more on that later.

But finding new customers makes no financial sense, if it’s at the expense of your existing clients.

You must have heard the saying ‘A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush’? Well, if you stop feeding that bird in your hand, odds are, it’ll fly away, straight into to your competitor’s hand. If you need something from a business on a regular basis, and all that you can see is that business offering discounts and signup bonuses to new customers, while refusing to share them with you, then you have every right to take your money elsewhere.

Remember – the power to retain the vast majority of your customers is in your own hands, and this guide will show you how to do just that.

How to start your own business

Welcome!

If you’ve ever wanted to start your own business, then please do have a wander through this free course by clicking on the Sign up for this course button below. And if you’ve already started your own business, well you’re welcome to have a look too! We all do things differently and with any luck, you might find something in here that you’ve not already thought about.

Then come and let us know how you do things – Business is very much an evolution and while this is a great place to start, the world changes at an exponential rate and it’s going to take a village to keep up! Come join our gang (well, Facebook Group) and tell us what you do and what you want to do next!

Fearless, Flawless Facebook Ads

Facebook gives you the most efficient, effective and targeted advertising available.

You just have to know how to set it up right if you’re going to effectively bend it to your will. Which is, let’s face it, what we all want.

Most businesses are after just ONE thing… more money. Knowing how to generate sales via Facebook advertising is a really powerful tool to have.

It could be that you’re looking for leads…. it could be that you want to use Facebook to sell more products. Either way, you need to know how to find the right customers, and then how to persuade them to buy what you’re selling.

This course will show you how to do that.

PLEASE NOTE: This course will get you started with your Facebook Advertising quickly and efficiently. It’s designed to get you working fast and effectively. It only includes what you actually need to know and we’ve deliberately filtered out the rest in order to avoid overwhelm.

PLEASE ALSO NOTE: you can make all of the videos larger by clicking on the maximise icon on each video.

You’re going to get a lot of information in a very short amount of time, so buckle up, buttercup…

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