If she’s completely honest with herself, the Queen was hella relieved when her ex-husband ran off with ‘The Feathered One’, (as she refers to his current lover).

She was fed up of cleaning up after him, and he believed his own press far more than anyone else did.

If she’d had to tell the story as it was, rather than as he’d like it to be, she’d admit that he’d been a thorn in her side since the day he’d thundered up on that white charger, armour shining in the sunshine.

Two months later they were married and she was pregnant with Alice. Who she adores, but who is so capable that sometimes she makes the Queen feel a little insecure.

Luckily she’s working through that with her Guru.

Occasionally she pops home from India to see how Alice is doing. Very occasionally she brings some spiritual guidance with her. Like the Dragon, the Queen would die for Alice (but then she’d preferably reincarnate as something that could give the King a really nasty nip).

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